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This Asshole Built A Railroad, Now We All Have To Work A 9 to 5

Expressing incredible grief and frustration at the thought of spending the best years of his life taking orders from overly-happy custome...

Desperate To Oppress Covid-19 With Government Resources, Canada Offers To Sign A Treaty With It

Rejoicing at the idea of bringing back the oldest Canadian trick in the book, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced a new plan of attac...

Indigenous People Mostly Upset That Covid-19 Didn't Even Do A Land Acknowledgement

After hearing word that the Coronavirus entered Indigenous territory without conducting the proper protocols, Assembly of First Nations C...

China Admits It's All An Elaborate Ploy To Give Indigenous People Their Land Back

After finally tapering off the deadly Covid-19 virus in their country, China's government announced their true intentions behind unleashi...

Scheer Disappointed That 50% Of Indigenous Children Live In Poverty, Says We Can Go Higher

Boasting about his political party's non-approach to Indigenous issues, Andrew Scheer made a promise that they would raise the percentage...

Report: Just End It Already

An exasperated nation reported that they would rather just stay the fuck at home on election day. When pressed on which candidate has imp...

Man Who Grew Up In Mansion Knows What's Best For These Kids

OTTAWA - Reflecting on the incredibly difficult road that brought him there, a privileged white male discussed his plans to deal with Ind...

Scheer Lays In Bed Dreaming About A Sexier, More Oppressive Indian Act

Dazed by his party's surge in the polls, Conservative leader Andrew Scheer spent the morning dreaming about what he would do as Prime Min...

Indigenous People Gather For The Ceremonial Choice Between A Ball Gag, Butt Plug, Or Dildo

Descending upon election season with a grimace on their face, Canada's Indigenous people will decide exactly how they want to be fucked.

Trudeau Shows Trump How To Treat Marginalized Children By Depriving Them Of Clean Drinking Water

OTTAWA — Triumphantly calling his latest policy of not doing much to battle the water crisis in Attawapiskat the greatest move he has eve...

Old White Man Grappling With Idea Of Foreigners Taking All The Stolen Land

Sneering into the camera and yelling incoherent words into the camera, a senior citizen unleashed a racist tirade on live television toda...

World Leader AI Malfunctioning Causes Unknown

Trudeau’s computer chip was malfunctioning more than regular on Monday. It seems the AI algorithm was suffering deficiencies when computi...

Jody Wilson-Raybould Caught Bribing Libyan Dictators, Trudeau Promptly Reinstates Her As AG

In an unexpected sequence of events, former Justice Minister and Attorney General, Jody Wilson-Raybould, has been accused of bribing fore...

Breaking: Award-Winning News Company Uncovers Senator Lynn Beyak’s Top Secret Website

In probably one of the most incredible and daring displays of journalism in the modern century, The Feather News has just unearthed shock...

Indigenous Leaders Wish MP Robert Ouellette Would Stop Calling It The “Tipi Of Commons”

Flummoxed at the prospect of admonishing one of their own, Indigenous leader across the country issued a gentle warning to the young memb...

Liberals Reveal It Was An Elaborate Prank Just To See Conservatives Listen To An Indigenous Woman

Announcing that the recent SNC-Lavelin scandal was just a hoax, Prime Minister Trudeau and his cabinet members began laughing menacingly ...

Ghost Of Trudeau Sr. Returns To Console Son: “Thought I Told You To Not Mess With The Indians"

OTTAWA – With a grey fog suddenly appearing in the hallways of 24 Sussex Drive, the haunting ghost of Pierre Trudeau slowly opened the do...

Nation Shocked That A Government With A History Of Colonialism Would Do This To An Indigenous Woman

Speaking on the recent developments on the whole SNC-Lavelin affair, local painter Robert Paulsen expressed his grief and despair over th...

Uncovered Portrait Of John A. Macdonald Gifted To Indigenous People Evidence Of Very First Dick Pic

VICTORIA – In a stunning discovery, historians at the Royal BC Museum uncovered a 6 x 9 hand-drawn portrait of Sir John A. Macdonald foun...

Shit Show Proves PM Is Willing To Intervene In Justice For SNC-Lavalin, But Not Justice For Colton

In a move that has literally surprised no one, former Justice Minister and Attorney General, Jody Wilson-Raybould resigned from Trudeau’s...

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