Canada Reflects On The Long Arduous, Difficult, Bloody, Genocidal, WTF, Road That Got Us All Here
As Canadians settle down for a national day of reflection and new found guilt, a few took the time to describe their feelings about the...
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Why It Matters That John A. Macdonald Never Tweeted His Support For Bill C-15
A pack of social justice warriors took to Twitter to express their frustration that the late Prime Minister never signalled his support...
This Asshole Built A Railroad, Now We All Have To Work A 9 to 5
Expressing incredible grief and frustration at the thought of spending the best years of his life taking orders from overly-happy...
Desperate To Oppress Covid-19 With Government Resources, Canada Offers To Sign A Treaty With It
Rejoicing at the idea of bringing back the oldest Canadian trick in the book, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced a new plan of...
Indigenous People Mostly Upset That Covid-19 Didn't Even Do A Land Acknowledgement
After hearing word that the Coronavirus entered Indigenous territory without conducting the proper protocols, Assembly of First Nations...
China Admits It's All An Elaborate Ploy To Give Indigenous People Their Land Back
After finally tapering off the deadly Covid-19 virus in their country, China's government announced their true intentions behind...
Scheer Disappointed That 50% Of Indigenous Children Live In Poverty, Says We Can Go Higher
Boasting about his political party's non-approach to Indigenous issues, Andrew Scheer made a promise that they would raise the percentage...
Report: Just End It Already
An exasperated nation reported that they would rather just stay the fuck at home on election day. When pressed on which candidate has...
Man Who Grew Up In Mansion Knows What's Best For These Kids
OTTAWA - Reflecting on the incredibly difficult road that brought him there, a privileged white male discussed his plans to deal with...
Scheer Lays In Bed Dreaming About A Sexier, More Oppressive Indian Act
Dazed by his party's surge in the polls, Conservative leader Andrew Scheer spent the morning dreaming about what he would do as Prime...
Indigenous People Gather For The Ceremonial Choice Between A Ball Gag, Butt Plug, Or Dildo
Descending upon election season with a grimace on their face, Canada's Indigenous people will decide exactly how they want to be fucked.
Trudeau Shows Trump How To Treat Marginalized Children By Depriving Them Of Clean Drinking Water
OTTAWA — Triumphantly calling his latest policy of not doing much to battle the water crisis in Attawapiskat the greatest move he has...
Old White Man Grappling With Idea Of Foreigners Taking All The Stolen Land
Sneering into the camera and yelling incoherent words into the camera, a senior citizen unleashed a racist tirade on live television...
World Leader AI Malfunctioning Causes Unknown
Trudeau’s computer chip was malfunctioning more than regular on Monday. It seems the AI algorithm was suffering deficiencies when...
Jody Wilson-Raybould Caught Bribing Libyan Dictators, Trudeau Promptly Reinstates Her As AG
In an unexpected sequence of events, former Justice Minister and Attorney General, Jody Wilson-Raybould, has been accused of bribing...
Breaking: Award-Winning News Company Uncovers Senator Lynn Beyak’s Top Secret Website
In probably one of the most incredible and daring displays of journalism in the modern century, The Feather News has just unearthed...
Indigenous Leaders Wish MP Robert Ouellette Would Stop Calling It The “Tipi Of Commons”
Flummoxed at the prospect of admonishing one of their own, Indigenous leader across the country issued a gentle warning to the young...
Liberals Reveal It Was An Elaborate Prank Just To See Conservatives Listen To An Indigenous Woman
Announcing that the recent SNC-Lavelin scandal was just a hoax, Prime Minister Trudeau and his cabinet members began laughing menacingly...
Ghost Of Trudeau Sr. Returns To Console Son: “Thought I Told You To Not Mess With The Indians"
OTTAWA – With a grey fog suddenly appearing in the hallways of 24 Sussex Drive, the haunting ghost of Pierre Trudeau slowly opened the...
Nation Shocked That A Government With A History Of Colonialism Would Do This To An Indigenous Woman
Speaking on the recent developments on the whole SNC-Lavelin affair, local painter Robert Paulsen expressed his grief and despair over...