Indigenous People Will Call Reconciliation “The Clit” Due To Privileged Males Inability To Find It
After a series of unfortunate events leading up to the name change, a group of Indigenous leaders announced a new strategy on their path...
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Trudeau Dusts Off And Appoints John A. Macdonald Statue To Minister Of Indigenous Services
OTTAWA — After brushing off the dust and debris from the old statue, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau wiped a tear off his cheek and...
Justin Trudeau Stands Up To Saudi Arabia By Showing Them How To Properly Suppress Human Rights
OTTAWA — Outlining that no one knows better than Canada on extinguishing human rights, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau addressed the media...
Live Action Remake Of Pocahontas A Chance For Disney To Accurately Portray Harmful Stereotypes In HD
After toasting other Disney executives atop their ivory castle, Chief Executive Officer Robert Iger announced plans for a reboot of the...
News Reporter Interviews Deer In Vain Attempt “To Connect With The Local Indians”
After discussing the intricacies of bark biting and insurance fraud, CBC news reporter Tanner Smith looked over to Indigenous onlookers...
Ecstatic Police Officer Wins Pool On How Many Racist Headlines They Made In 2018
THUNDER BAY — Celebrating his $500 gift card to Applebee’s, Constable Joseph Smith remarked on his accurate guess on how much negative...
Thunder Bay Police Steps Down From Hosting The Oscars Following Allegations Of Racist Behavior
THUNDER BAY — Embattled police chief, Sylvie Haulth tendered the force’s resignation as host of the 2019 Oscar Awards after a damning...
Teen With Raging Insecurities About His Race Looks Forward To Joining The RCMP One Day
Preparing himself to take on the mantle of a public servant, Wyatt Hudson revealed his true intentions by wanting to become an RCMP...
Hollywood Approves Indigenous Remake Of “Fast & Furious” Movie, Will Be Called "Swift & Ever Sick"
LOS ANGELES — In a racial victory for Indigenous people everywhere, Universal Pictures approved a landmark deal that will see the highly...
Report: New Year’s Resolutions Renamed To New Year’s Treaties For Obvious Reasons
Preparing for the onslaught of broken promises and false hopes, Indigenous people in Canada proposed a name change to the popular...
New Trespassing Laws In SK Shows There Are No Greater Experts On Entering Land Uninvited Than White
SASKATOON — New research by a team of social scientists at the University of Saskatchewan revealed that reasonable and pragmatic policy...
Indigenous Men Feeling Thrilled They Will Never Be Found In A Viagra Commercial
Throwing their long braids to the side as they walked taller down the street, Indigenous men in North America took pride in the fact that...
Reserve Says “Fuck It”, Sells Land To Nestle In Exchange For Clean Water
ONTARIO — Frustrated by the red tape of supplying basic human needs by the Canadian government, a northern reserve in Ontario has struck...
Indigenous Veteran Settled In Post-War Europe After Realizing Conditions Were Better Than Living In
LONDON — Astounded at the level of freedoms his white cousins across the pond were enjoying, Gary Littlefoot decided to dissolve his...
Treaty Gathering Held Up By Scott Moe Playing His Version Of “Wonderwall” As A Tribute T
REGINA — After clearing his throat and tuning his guitar, Sask. Premier Scott Moe announced that he will be singing a tribute to his...
Next Year’s Munk Debate Will Just Feature The Dalai Lama Breathing Along Side The Nation For 3
TORONTO — After a contentious few weeks, Aurea Foundation spokesperson Rudyard Griffiths announced a new change in direction for the...
Inuit Leaders Call Out Feds: “If We’re Paying $27 For A Carton Of Orange Juice, It Bette
NUNAVUT — Unmoved by the promises of the Liberal government, Inuit leaders called for a change to the Nutrition North program. “For...
Indigenous Woman’s “Rich White Girl” Identity Somehow Made Her Sexual Assault Case
VANCOUVER — Flipping her blonde hair to the side while walking to the Range Rover, Taylor Smith just finished submitting a police report...
This Year’s “Sexy Cherokee” Costume Comes With Full Experience Of Oppression And Disenfranchisement
EDMONTON — Crying to her herself while putting on the “Sexy Cherokee” outfit, white girl Callie Smith was looking forward to enjoying...
Supreme Court Rules MPs And Indigenous People Will Have To Settle Things By Indian Leg Wrestling
OTTAWA — In a unanimous decision, the Supreme Court of Canada has ruled that legislation introduced in parliament that may impede upon...
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