OTTAWA — After brushing off the dust and debris from the old statue, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau wiped a tear off his cheek and marvelled at the father of confederation. The announcement of a new Indigenous Services Minister comes at a time when the entire nation was nearly suffering from full-blown reconciliation with the Natives. This bold move from Trudeau has halted any future plans.
“John’s policy is this,” said Trudeau. “How can there be a bad relationship with Indigenous people if there is no relationship with Indigenous people? Hmmm… bet you didn’t think of that! This man will help me solve all my problems for good. I also hired him on the condition that he doesn’t send in the horny priests through the residential school system again. Because we all know how that one ended.”
Sources confirmed that former Indigenous Services minister, Jane Philpott, will be moved to safer and calmer waters, literally. She was last spotted on the beaches of The Grand Cayman Islands with some well earned treaty money in her bag.