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China Admits It's All An Elaborate Ploy To Give Indigenous People Their Land Back

After finally tapering off the deadly Covid-19 virus in their country, China's government announced their true intentions behind...

As Canada Quarantines, Bison Appear On The Plains As Indigenous People Roam Freely Once Again

As the nation retreats into their own quarters to heal from a hideous plague that has swept throughout the entire world, a familiar group...

Seasoned Indigenous Communities Summoned To Assist With Nation's First State Of Emergency

After nearly every province declared state of emergencies, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau called on Canada's seasoned professionals when...

2019: The Year Nothing Bad Happened To Indigenous People

The distant drums of reconciliation finally made their way into the hearts of Canadians as the 2019 curtain draws to a close. Across the...

Scheer Disappointed That 50% Of Indigenous Children Live In Poverty, Says We Can Go Higher

Boasting about his political party's non-approach to Indigenous issues, Andrew Scheer made a promise that they would raise the percentage...

White Nationalists Mistakenly Endorse Indigenous Suffrage Because They Can't Fucking Read

Extolling the virtues of white nationalism and sacrificing oneself for a country they never built, a 300 lb diabetic meatbag announced...

Report: Just End It Already

An exasperated nation reported that they would rather just stay the fuck at home on election day. When pressed on which candidate has...

Man Who Grew Up In Mansion Knows What's Best For These Kids

OTTAWA - Reflecting on the incredibly difficult road that brought him there, a privileged white male discussed his plans to deal with...

Indigenous People Gather For The Ceremonial Choice Between A Ball Gag, Butt Plug, Or Dildo

Descending upon election season with a grimace on their face, Canada's Indigenous people will decide exactly how they want to be fucked.

RCMP Wishes For Simpler Times Like When They Could Just Give Up While Searching For Indigenous Women

Exhausted by the anguish of conducting a nation-wide search for the two “kind and considerate” murder suspects,

Trudeau Unveils Plan To Send All White Children To "Reconciliation Schools"

OTTAWA — In a fiery speech to the House of Commons, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced that his government will begin a program to...

In Reconciliation Move, Police Will Do Land Acknowledgement Before Arresting Indigenous People

In a bold reconciliation move, Canada’s police commissioners announced a new initiative designed to mend relations with the country’s...

Indigenous People Warn Anti-Vax Movement “Do You Want Smallpox? Because That’s How You Get Smallpox

After watching the recent surge in bored parents administering frontier medicine, Indigenous people in Canada expressed disappointment in...

RCMP Vow To Gain More Views On Their Standoff Videos Than The MAGA Hat Kid

OTTAWA — Marshalling the resources required to create a viral video, RCMP Commissioner Brenda Lucki promised Canadian citizens that their...

Indigenous Men Feeling Thrilled They Will Never Be Found In A Viagra Commercial

Throwing their long braids to the side as they walked taller down the street, Indigenous men in North America took pride in the fact that...

This Year’s “Sexy Cherokee” Costume Comes With Full Experience Of Oppression And Disenfranchisement

EDMONTON — Crying to her herself while putting on the “Sexy Cherokee” outfit, white girl Callie Smith was looking forward to enjoying...

Breaking: The Threat Of Murdering Indigenous People Comes With A Harsher Punishment Than Those Who A

MANITOBA — After purging themselves of bottled-up ignorance on a website that allows any morally bankrupt person to have a platform, two...

Indigenous Child Living In Poverty Looking Forward To Being Displayed In A Museum One Day

TORONTO— “It may not look like much now, but it will be when they are on display behind tempered glass and educational plaques,” said...

Stephen Harper Disappointed At The 92% Incarceration Rate Among Indigenous Youth, Says “We Could Go

ALBERTA — Responding to the recent report issued by Statistics Canada on the soaring rates of incarcerated Indigenous youth, former Prime...

Oil-Soaked Indigenous Man Says Living Off The Land “Probably Not A Good Idea”

BRITISH COLUMBIA – “It’s everywhere,” said Thomas Redbear of Little Foot First Nation. “The other day I was goose hunting and I slipped...