As the nation retreats into their own quarters to heal from a hideous plague that has swept throughout the entire world, a familiar group of people has retaken their lands and have thrived ever since the disappearance of commerce and late-stage capitalism.
"An old wonder of the world has shown his face once again," said Gordon Littlefoot of We-Don't-Have-Redskin First Nation. "This morning the birds were chirping, the beavers were chewing, and the bison were chased with a feeling of infinite joy over those cliffs over there. I thought this day would never come again."
As the stock market took violent leaps down the stairway to eternal damnation, investors and CEOs were reportedly shocked that beaver pelts were doing so well on the Nasdaq and TSX. "Buy! Buy now!" yelled a desperate stock broker while violently waving a wellington beaver hat in the air.
Sources close to the matter said Indigenous people were glad to hear that social distancing and washing hands were employed as weapons against the virus since this worked perfectly against smallpox.