Uncovered Portrait Of John A. Macdonald Gifted To Indigenous People Evidence Of Very First Dick Pic
VICTORIA – In a stunning discovery, historians at the Royal BC Museum uncovered a 6 x 9 hand-drawn portrait of Sir John A. Macdonald...
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Shit Show Proves PM Is Willing To Intervene In Justice For SNC-Lavalin, But Not Justice For Colton
In a move that has literally surprised no one, former Justice Minister and Attorney General, Jody Wilson-Raybould resigned from Trudeau’s...
Trudeau Doubles Down On Reconciliation Efforts By Unveiling His Eagle Feather Tramp Stamp
OTTAWA — Regarding his administration as the architect of modern-day reconciliation, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced he has...
Indigenous Voters Just Choosing Whichever Political Party Fucks With The Most Lube At This Point
Expressing a mixture of hope and confusion, Indigenous people in Canada outlined their voting plans for the upcoming 2019 federal...
Indigenous People Will Call Reconciliation “The Clit” Due To Privileged Males Inability To Find It
After a series of unfortunate events leading up to the name change, a group of Indigenous leaders announced a new strategy on their path...
Trudeau Dusts Off And Appoints John A. Macdonald Statue To Minister Of Indigenous Services
OTTAWA — After brushing off the dust and debris from the old statue, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau wiped a tear off his cheek and...
Justin Trudeau Stands Up To Saudi Arabia By Showing Them How To Properly Suppress Human Rights
OTTAWA — Outlining that no one knows better than Canada on extinguishing human rights, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau addressed the media...
New Trespassing Laws In SK Shows There Are No Greater Experts On Entering Land Uninvited Than White
SASKATOON — New research by a team of social scientists at the University of Saskatchewan revealed that reasonable and pragmatic policy...
Treaty Gathering Held Up By Scott Moe Playing His Version Of “Wonderwall” As A Tribute T
REGINA — After clearing his throat and tuning his guitar, Sask. Premier Scott Moe announced that he will be singing a tribute to his...
Supreme Court Rules MPs And Indigenous People Will Have To Settle Things By Indian Leg Wrestling
OTTAWA — In a unanimous decision, the Supreme Court of Canada has ruled that legislation introduced in parliament that may impede upon...
Historians Discover Shocking First Draft Of Treaties That Just Says “Psyche!”
WINNIPEG — Delivering the shocking discovery while flanked by a team of researchers, Prof. Dennis Coleman announced that history is not...
Canada Officially Declares Indigenous People As Endangered Species
OTTAWA — Recognizing that the current plight of its Indigenous people will lead to extinction, the Canadian government announced...
Canada Proposes Year Long Holiday To Mark Legacy Of Historical Wrongs Against Indigenous People
OTTAWA — Acknowledging that they are going to need 365 days to commemorate every racist policy carried out by colonial ancestors, Prime...
Maxime Bernier Lays Out His Vision Of A Utopian Nation Filled With Uncultured Swine
OTTAWA — Standing on the steps of Parliament Hill, flanked by MPs from the Conservative Party of Canada, Maxime Bernier delivered a fiery...
Critics Warn That Removing John A. Macdonald Statue May Lead To Eradicating Racism Altogether
VICTORIA — Lamenting the fact that their esteemed leader will no longer be glorified for his crimes against Indigenous peoples, critics...
Climate Scientists Warn That The Future Is Sweaty And Moist
TORONTO — Acknowledging that presenting people with the facts just isn’t working anymore, climate scientists adopted a new tactic that...
Stephen Harper Disappointed At The 92% Incarceration Rate Among Indigenous Youth, Says “We Could Go
ALBERTA — Responding to the recent report issued by Statistics Canada on the soaring rates of incarcerated Indigenous youth, former Prime...
Senator Lynn Beyak Pushes Back By Revealing How Many Indigenous People She Really Knows
OTTAWA — “I know a lot of indians,” said a defiant Senator Lynn Beyak. “Most of them are good people. In fact, I keep a journal of all...
Trans Mountain Pipeline To Become Honorary Tribe Member For Indigenous Community
ALBERTA – Recognizing the economic need of establishing an oil empire, a First Nations reserve in Alberta has accepted the Trans Mountain...
Indigenous Children In Canada Now Issued Protest Signs At Birth
OTTAWA — In a stunning change of policy, the Canadian government has announced groundbreaking new legislation for Indigenous children on...
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