OTTAWA — Regarding his administration as the architect of modern-day reconciliation, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced he has gotten a new tattoo in recognition of his efforts.
“Sometimes you just gotta pat yourself on the back and get a tramp stamp,” said a triumphant Trudeau. “This new tattoo, along with my Haida one, will absolutely seal the deal with Indigenous people in Canada. Hopefully, this will help us get past all the pipeline scare tactics, failure to provide clean water, and no effort to reform the colonial justice system. But this tattoo will signify a new way forward.”
Sources confirmed that Trudeau has announced all his cabinet members will be receiving new tramp stamps as well. The PMO has also announced $17 billion in new funding for Indigenous people, just “for the fuck of it”.