VICTORIA – In a stunning discovery, historians at the Royal BC Museum uncovered a 6 x 9 hand-drawn portrait of Sir John A. Macdonald found in correspondence sent back and forth between Indigenous nations and the Canadian government.
“Shocking,” said Alfred Dingleberry, the lead historian at the museum. “We knew there were letters and signed documents sent back and forth, but we never imagined Sir John A. Macdonald would draw a photo of himself then send it to them as a gift. This must have been an attempt to arouse interest in signing treaties. Of course, after forcing assimilation and introducing residential schools on the Indigenous people, we here at the museum conclude that it was, in fact, a dick move.”
Sources confirmed that the unearthed portrait will be on display in a new gallery called “Canada’s Looong Hallway Of Dicks”. Grand opening to be announced soon.