APTN’s ‘First Pumpkin Spice Latte’ Brings Indigenous People To White Girl Communities
TORONTO — A brand new TV series aims to break down the harmful stereotypes attributed to white women in the city by bringing Indigenous...
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Historians Discover Shocking First Draft Of Treaties That Just Says “Psyche!”
WINNIPEG — Delivering the shocking discovery while flanked by a team of researchers, Prof. Dennis Coleman announced that history is not...
New Indigenous Student Looking Forward To Being Shown Off In The Campus Brochure
EDMONTON — Recognizing that his studies would not be complete until he is used as a recruitment tool, Thomas Redbear expressed excitement...
Canada Officially Declares Indigenous People As Endangered Species
OTTAWA — Recognizing that the current plight of its Indigenous people will lead to extinction, the Canadian government announced...
News Monologue #1 – Canada’s Justice System
“News” Correspondent Danny Knight delivers an in-depth analysis on Canada’s relationship with Indigenous people. Sharing is caring:...
Breaking: God Resigns
VATICAN — After centuries of an institution known for sexually abusing children with no end in sight, reckless money laundering, and a...
Canada Proposes Year Long Holiday To Mark Legacy Of Historical Wrongs Against Indigenous People
OTTAWA — Acknowledging that they are going to need 365 days to commemorate every racist policy carried out by colonial ancestors, Prime...
Maxime Bernier Lays Out His Vision Of A Utopian Nation Filled With Uncultured Swine
OTTAWA — Standing on the steps of Parliament Hill, flanked by MPs from the Conservative Party of Canada, Maxime Bernier delivered a fiery...
Critics Warn That Removing John A. Macdonald Statue May Lead To Eradicating Racism Altogether
VICTORIA — Lamenting the fact that their esteemed leader will no longer be glorified for his crimes against Indigenous peoples, critics...
Canada Finally Ready To Admit That Indigenous People Came Up With The Idea For Universal Healthcare
OTTAWA — Although the idea was not strong enough to ward off smallpox and tuberculosis, the intent of healthcare-for-all began as a...
Breaking: New Study Confirms That A Tweet And A Themed Profile Picture Does Literally Next To Nothin
CALGARY — A team of researchers have released a report undermining the effects of typing into your little devices for the sake of a...
Indigenous Man Lost After New Vision Quest App Leads Him To Middle Of Lake
BRITISH COLUMBIA — After traversing the rough terrain of dense forests and a failed assent towards the peak of the Rockies, Richard...
The Word “Privilege” Shocked To Find It Has Been Weaponized Against Its Own Will
“During my youth, I was not used to divide and conquer,” said a visibly upset Mr. Privilege. “I never used to be a tool for the social...
Facebook To Introduce “Smoke Signals” Font To Assuage Pressure From Indigenous Groups
“Today, we are excited to announce a new way forward for Indigenous people,” said Mike Schroepfer, Chief Technology Officer at Facebook....
Indigenous Child Living In Poverty Looking Forward To Being Displayed In A Museum One Day
TORONTO— “It may not look like much now, but it will be when they are on display behind tempered glass and educational plaques,” said...
Indigenous Landlords Allow Their Tenants To Celebrate 151 Years, Just Be Done By 10 PM
CANADA — Lifting up their little cute flags in celebration, non-Indigenous people in Canada were overwhelmed to hear the approval of...
Stephen Harper Disappointed At The 92% Incarceration Rate Among Indigenous Youth, Says “We Could Go
ALBERTA — Responding to the recent report issued by Statistics Canada on the soaring rates of incarcerated Indigenous youth, former Prime...
Indigenous People In Canada Celebrate Their One Day While Sharks Get A Whole Week
CANADA — On June 21st, a nation comes together to celebrate the rich cultural history of Indigenous people and also pay honour to the...
Senator Lynn Beyak Pushes Back By Revealing How Many Indigenous People She Really Knows
OTTAWA — “I know a lot of indians,” said a defiant Senator Lynn Beyak. “Most of them are good people. In fact, I keep a journal of all...
Leaked Avengers 4 Script Reveals Hawkeye To Be Marvel’s First Indigenous Superhero
LOS ANGELES — “Now that the secret is out. I just cannot believe it took everyone this long to figure it out,” said Jeremy Renner who...
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